Walking the path of motherhood is like walking on a sandy beach. There is no trail paved before us. Maybe there is a partial path of footsteps we can see, but many times, it’s washed away with the tide. So much of a mothers’ work is seen by God and then washed away with the tide. And we restart it all the next day.  Many times, we have to figure it out on our own with God’s help. Each baby at a time. Our hard work lives on in our children. True work that matters. Our children are all that we can take into heaven with us. Let that sink in. We can’t take our money, cars, houses, clothes, instagram accounts, or jewelry. We can only take our kids. Raise them up right.

It’s truly amazing how much changes once we walk the path of motherhood. Not too long ago, I thought I would never be able to be called mom. My body was trying so hard month after month to get pregnant, and it took us two years and two months to see two pink lines. My husband quit his job. He found a new one that made him happy. I was on clomid months before, and finally, I tried progesterone oil while breaking down and crying to God to help heal my brokenness and unbearable pain that I felt by wanting to be a mother. God saved me. The next day, after I broke down and prayed to him, I was pregnant. My pregnancy was a gift from God.

Motherhood is a beautiful journey. Our bodies change, and we become selfless and protective of our little joys. For me, once I became a mom, nothing else mattered. I had found my peace, purpose, and joy. I see my husband as a father, a real father, and it brings me so much happiness. It makes me fall in love with him all over again. This journey I have been walking has been my life. These are the days I will look back on and wish I could relive.

As my older daughter is about to turn 3, I’m blown away with how fast time goes. I quit my job, no longer contributing to a 401k, and put my every hour into my babies. My husband got a promotion and has been contributing more into his 401k. He works so hard to provide, and I love him so much. I would never say anything bad about the working moms and single moms. It is hard work both ways. I went back to my job until my first was 8 months old. That’s when we decided I would stay home. We never had daycare or a babysitter. It was just my husband and I sharing the care. My husband got really tired, and I missed time with my family. My job was very nice about giving me hours and being flexible. I truly enjoyed leaving the house some days and crunching in hours to make my own money. But those other days where it’s dark in the early mornings and my sweet baby was quietly asleep in my arms, there was just no way I could leave her. Those mornings became more and more until we decided I would stay home full time. Pumping was also hard because I refused to work more than 8 hours because it would affect my breastmilk supply. I took 30 minutes to pump mid shift, and once I got home, I fed her right away.

I did watch another baby, a little boy, the same age. He was actually my cousin’s son. It was so sweet to watch them play together. I had him for about 12 hours a day a couple of days a week. Then I got pregnant with our second baby. Just before she was born, I took time with just my first daughter. Soaking in every moment with her as an only child until we became a family of four.

Sometimes, I’m way too hard on myself. Sometimes, I don’t think much of myself. But when I remind myself of the strength I’ve had each day to get up and raise my babies, I become empowered. When I look back on all that I’ve done with God’s help to get pregnant, give birth, and raise my babies, it’s a miracle, and I’m proud of my work as a mother.

Not every day is easy. Some days, a curse word comes out, and I have to say the act of contrition and ask God for forgiveness. Some days, I lose my patience with my husband, but he always forgives me. I’ve been working very hard every day to be the best I can. Not as in trying to be perfect. I am trying to be pleasing to God in the way I behave and react to situations around me. I’m working on patience and humility. The more I’m teaching my daughter about Jesus and the Bible, the more I’m learning how to be a mom.

There’s no place I’d rather be right now than at home raising my babies. Walking the path of motherhood has taught me so much. It continues to teach me something every day. I’m learning as my kids grow and learn. Child-like minds go to heaven. I’m learning every day how true this is. My kids are soft, caring, nurturing, sweet, gentle, listeners, and kind souls that love Jesus. There’s just nothing more beautiful than their sweet souls. They are the reason I keep walking my path of motherhood. One step, each day at a time. Grateful for every moment, smile, laugh, and breath they take. Their voices and laughter will forever be marked on my soul. Walking the path of motherhood is beautiful. I will forever be grateful. Thank you, God!