When I look at my two beautiful babies, I’m amazed at how fast the time is going. They are growing so fast! With my first daughter, I felt like I had all the time to spend with just her. Reading to her, teaching her baby sign language, even napping with her when she was tired. But now, with my second daughter it’s been so incredibly hard to get just one-on-one time with her like I did with my first. I feel like I’m falling behind every day. She benefits by having an older sister (my oldest is almost 3 and second is 10 months-old). But as for the one-on-one time reading and teaching, it feels like I lack now.

Our playtime looks a lot like the oldest swapping the younger one’s toys, or pushing her down when she attempts to stand up. I love them both so much and I know I’m a good mom, but some days are hard. Or rather, some days I’m really hard on myself. What brings me back every time is Jesus. Learning to have patience and laugh when I’m overstimulated with the noise. Learning that my children are NOT noise, but rather beautiful music to my ears. Their chubby little cheeks saying big words and pronouncing them the best they can. This is the best life I could have ever imagined.

The beauty and joy my daughters bring me is pure delight. They are little Saints. My first daughter absolutely loves Jesus and Mary and all the Saints, and God. I feel proud of her that she knows so many Saints names at the age of 2! I’m hoping my second daughter has a love for learning like my first does. I’m sure she will because she loves to do whatever her older sister is getting into.

The one thing nobody told me about having a second baby is the longing I feel whenever I’m not with either one of them. If I’m with my second daughter, I miss my first daughter. And when I’m with my first daughter, I feel guilty that I’m not giving my second daughter the same attention. My first daughter will always have that one-on-one time we had right when she was born. Our sweet little baby, I had all to myself. Those were beautiful days and memories.

One thing I always remind myself with every day is how much did I catch myself today? How many times did I want to say something awful to my husband but didn’t? How many swear words did I keep inside? I keep working on myself every day, even if I still don’t feel worthy enough. I ask God for forgiveness whenever I swear or lose my temper. I know that my beautiful little girls have eyes, and they sure are watching EVERY MOVE and EVERY WORD you say. I’m almost in tears sometimes with the GOOD things my daughter says and does. Those are the reminders that keep me going. The good things she does just because she wants to be like Mom or Dad. How she says, “Thank you for brushing my teeth,” and “Thank you for giving me chocolate milk.” Other times it’s wanting to paint or jump on the rebounder because Mom does it. How wonderful are children? The little blessings of our lives.

What I find amazing is that when we are growing up, we see life as needing to be one way. But once we get married, and especially once we have kids, that changes. In a good way. Everything becomes about our little family. Parents become selfless and want to see happiness and love overpouring from their child. What was once fun is no longer the same for us. Fun now is seeing our little blessings run around free and healthy, playing. That is the life.

I am living the best life I can and it’s all happening right now. Our little family is growing. Our sweet babies are learning the good stuff every day. My husband and I are becoming wiser with age. As we grow closer and closer to Jesus, our lives are becoming more meaningful, and precious. Every day is a gift. Every kiss is a blessing. I’m learning so much because of my daughters. They teach me every day. The good stuff.