I held tight to that first faint, double pink line. Could this really be it? The two years of waiting, blood tests, progesterone oil, ovulation tests, and hoping. Could this be it? God’s timing is perfect.

The first time giving birth is painful! Even with an epidural. I maxed out on Pitocin. Too numb to feel any pushing, I was in a state of “God please save my baby and me.” After use of the vacuum, my baby was out…but she wasn’t crying…

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you”

Jeremiah 1:5

I watched as so many assistants came in the room watching and waiting. The male doctor in front of me had eyes opened in disbelief as my baby came out. Likely from my new wounds and umbilical cord that was wrapped around my baby’s neck…

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

All of a sudden, there was this warm, tiny baby on my belly, my husband crying, and I felt completely numb and out of my body. I felt light. The male doctor scooped up my baby from me and began resuscitating her. My doctor was quickly stitching me up.

I then kept asking, “is she okay?” My husband said, “yes she’s okay,” but we hadn’t heard her cry yet. It felt like the longest minute or two of my life when finally we heard a cry! That first cry brings you to tears.

I remember crying one night after two years and two months of waiting to become pregnant, I prayed to God. I had a dream that night of a baby girl’s feet. I promised God when I found out I was pregnant two days later that I would live my life the best I knew how. When she was born, my Catholic husband (who wasn’t a practicing Catholic at the time) and I went to mass with our baby…

The mass was beautiful. I could feel this calling to get closer. To dig deeper. To give more of myself. I enrolled in RCIA, and we baptized our baby girl. My husband and I had our marriage blessed in the Catholic Church and a little over a year later…

I was finally baptized in the Catholic Church, during the Easter Vigil, in front of the entire church. It was beautiful, and a night I’ll never forget. I finally felt free. I finally felt belonging I’ve been searching for. I was confirmed the same night….

I turned to Mother Mary and her Mom when helping me on my RCIA journey as I was pregnant with my second daughter. Saint Ann is the name I chose at my confirmation.

And then, I received first communion. The real body and blood of Jesus. Why anyone wouldn’t want this I will never understand. It was the most special day of my life. I had all three sacraments in one night!!! What a night it was! And I was pregnant with my second daughter the whole time. Another blessing growing inside me…

The truth is motherhood is hard, but I found love, compassion, and purpose in His word. The truth is, in motherhood, you may get baby blues. My husband tried and tried for those two weeks that I had them to get me out of it. Nothing would work. I just held on to His word. God saved me.

The honest truth is that I follow Jesus, and He leads me daily in my motherhood. The ups, the downs. The patience, or lack of on some days. The forgiveness, the understanding of heart, and He renews me. Motherhood is not meant to be alone. This is why I created Piatek Living. To connect, inspire, and share the beauty of the Catholic Church and take that beauty into our homes and daily lives in motherhood.